Our 400th day - 11042015

As relationships go on, things get more stable, because both individuals have already more or less found much common ground for many things that used to be conflicts. Though that doesn't mean zero arguments and disagreements herein, but it means more understanding.


Our 400th day wasn't all sugar, spice, and everything nice - my car's battery completely died on day 399 in a backlane of a mall in a not-so-pleasant area, and in my frustration and disappointment and annoyance at a random stranger who wouldn't shut up... well, let's say I could've handled the situation a lot better than I did.

*Note to self: get a jumpstart cable in the car for emergencies.


The first half of the next day (day 400) wasn't a bed of roses either... I won't go into the details, but it was a less romantic than we would have expected it to be.


I wouldn't say we made up for the past 24 hours with a dinner date, but things did improve toward the end of the day.


The car battery got changed (apparently, I was using the wrong battery for the car model), and drove to his place as soon as I got a change of fresh clothes. We took a shower, dressed up, then went out for dinner.


It's been a really long while since I've actually been to a steakhouse, the last time being a number of years ago to Victoria Station, and it was the last straw and dealbreaker for ever visiting Victoria Station again.

Star Village in Kuchai Lama is more of a place for young people to hangout, smoke, and drink. On the other hand, Star Village HQ in OUG is in a league of its own. The outside is a bar and lounge area, with tall tables and bar stools, as well as lounge chairs in what I assume is artificial leather the kind of crowded the place, but a clear path was visible to the entrance.

If the effect was to give it a movie-like, going-back-in-time effect on diners, they did it - a phone booth in a corner, comfy-looking chairs around round tables, dim yellow lights that illuminated wooden furniture.

The furnishings in the back weren't too matching though... white plastic chairs were part of them, and in the far corner, a bench table with a very weathered white pleather couch.

The place was in quite dire need of renovation and refurnishing, but other than that, the food was excellent. I'm still not crazy over paying copious amounts for a slab of beef, but it was a special occasion, and the food wasn't too too expensive there, which was a plus.


Heading to a nice steakhouse for chicken and/or fish would be daft, so we opted for beef - a top sirloin steak for him, and a rib-eye steak for me. Both medium-rare (we like our meat slightly underdone).

Ribeye steak.

Sirloin steak, with an extra corn on the cob.

The steaks were served with a crispy bun, steak fries, the sauce in a sauce dish, and a rather generous amount of apple and soggy pasta salad, topped with grated carrots. Wasn't too fond of the apple salad, so we just picked out the pasta and left the rest.

We had a side of cheesy escargots, because no steakhouse meal is complete without cheesy, garlicky French snails. The trick is not to examine the little black lump of deliciousness that would be dipped in the garlic cheese sauce. And at MYR16.90 per half dozen, it was well worth the money.

I was eyeing the soup, but didn't want to have a potentially made-from-powder or came-from-a-can mushroom soup, so he introduced me to the salmon soup, which I regrettably did not know of earlier. The soup came with actual salmon flakes in it, and the flavor of the fish was just... full-bodied and heavenly.


As for the drinks, there were some interesting options, including my favorite honey milk, but toward the end of the cold drinks list... was the Coke Float, which specified that it came in a 1-litre mug. I cautiously asked if I could order one, and he said why not. I think he was unaware of the situation.

The Coke Float arrived with a sure *thump*, and I was sitting there wide-eyed. It took him a moment after trying to move the mug before he realized the size of it. If the size isn't comprehensible - 1 can of Coke is 325ml, which means it's about a little over 3 cans of Coke, with two large scoops of vanilla ice cream. One word: diabeetus.


***

There are times when things aren't as sweet ("I get drunk on jealousy" - Taylor Swift), and there is no such thing as a 100% compatibility between two people. For a relationship to work, there's no stopping the process of finding common ground - it's a constant effort from both sides, a promise to commit and continue working for the relationship.


Especially now that we each have so little time on our own hands, with work duties and such, it's almost impossible to go back to a few weeks ago where I could've taken an entire day from home to spend with him, even if it meant following him to work.


Sometimes things don't go as we like, or as we plan. I expected already that we would have significantly less time to ourselves once we've started work, especially when my job requires me to work till midnight on certain nights.


Hope spring's eternal.

How-to: DIY text heart with MSWord & Paint

Like every other social media addicted girl, I turned to Pinterest when I was looking for ideas for a gift as a token of celebration of our first year as a couple. The gift idea morphed into a DIY project as I scrolled through search results for "anniversary gifts for him".

Chocolate hazelnut mini parfait 🍨 Chocolate sponge, hazelnut cremeux, and chocolate mousse layers, topped with caramel coffee vape.

A photo posted by Kellie Low 紫倩 (@thecheanie) on Feb 25, 2015 at 9:11am PST

The next idea was a heart made completely out of words, and ideally, all these words should say "I love you", and in different languages for an interesting twist. Kind of life a play on typography (you design peeps understand).

I didn't read much into it, though - I got what information I could from the pin, and didn't search any further and kinda hit-and-missed my way through doing the entire thing.


If you have PhotoShop or Illustrator, I don't think this would be much of a problem. However, for those less equipped (such as my humble self), here's one way to do it using Microsoft Word and Paint.


1. Decide which languages you want to use and get them in their native calligraphy/writing

What I did was just get a bunch of "I love you" translations off Google Translate for a half hour. My SO has a thing for Vitas, so I made a point to include Russian, and the more obvious English, Mandarin, and Korean.


Get all your text and put them into one Word document. You could do it straight in Paint, but doing it in Word first gives you more room for creative typography in terms of color and sizing. Try to have the words you want to stand out within the shape of the heart - a rough estimate would do, but try to center the key words.


2. Ctrl-C + Ctrl-V + Ctrl-S

Get in a full page of text (I had a couple of lines repeated), edited it in color and/or size as you like, then select it all, copy, and paste it into Paint. I changed the font, evened out the text sizes, and justified the spacing, but left it all black.

Adjust the size of the canvas to fit the text. Once you're happy with the overall fitting, save it as a PNG file.

I saved mine as a JPEG file, while turned out a little pixelated when I continued to process and print it. Usually, PNG is used for electronic publishing, and JPEG for printing, but since I still had to use the image it should've been saved as a PNG.


3. Put the words into the heart

Draw the heart while holding down shift for a nice, square-aligned heart. Then adjust the size accordingly.

Once you have the PNG image saved, draw up a new page on Word. Go to Insert, then Shapes, and find the heart shape. Draw it as big as you want, then change the Text wrap to Square so you can move it easily.

Select the heart and Shape Fill with the PNG you just saved.

Remove the outline to complete the word heart.

I was going to print it for A5 paper, so I resized it to about 11-13cm in width. Set the Shape Outline under the Format tab to None, then click on Shape Fill just above Outline, and select Picture... from the drop menu. From the pop up, find and select the PNG you've saved, and voila!

I used this as a cover illustration, but you could use this for a greeting card as well.

If you're unsatisfied with the result, you can always go back to step 2 to make changes, then follow through until you get the result you like. I used this as a cover for the DIY one-year journal that I made for him.


Ps. The width of the heart in the screenshots are different because I went back to recreate the heart for this post.

Gift idea for couples: DIY relationship journal

I'm a sucker for gifts, and I like my gifts to reflect the amount of thought and effort that I like to express via my gifts.


Of course, a well-chosen store-bought gift, especially when it is something that your partner has been wanting for a long time but has been holding off on purchasing it, is as good as - if not better than - a handcrafted gift.


For our first year together, I wanted to hand-make something sentimental as a token to celebrate our first year. I Googled "anniversary gifts for husband", and I clicked into a Pinterest page filled with all sorts of DIY gift ideas - from couple mugs, to papier mache picture frames, to quaint personalized gifts. For the life of me, I can't find the exact page, though many pins looked very familiar.

I got a bit of dirt on the cover, and got a little cheesy with the wordings LOL

I bought a ton of colored construction paper because I wanted to do something like a book/album-like thing, but I had no solid idea how to go about it. I combined two ideas I got from that Pinterest page: 1. a relationship journal that serves to chronicle our relationship through the past year, and 2. a unique piece that incorporated the mushiness of a relationship with typography design (how to make this would be in another post).


I made mine in A5 size, because I'm a sucker for cute things, and the size was more suitable since I focusing on some of our more memorable days and moments together, punctuated with a few thoughts handwritten in the blank space.


I used:

• A4 sized colored paper (approx. 70-80gsm would give nice, solid pages)
• steel ruler, cutting mat & box cutter
• scissors & A LOT of double-sided tape (or glue, but be aware that it might leave patches on the paper)
• printed photos
• custom-made paper labels
• black gel pen (I used black because my pages were already colorful)
• resin stickers (or any type of stickers you like)
• 1x A4 sized thick card (used as cover)

I wanted to focus more on the highlights of our relationship. We both use a couple app called Between, and we organized a lot of our photos according to date, so I thought why not use that?

Here's the step by step process of getting this project done:

1. Planning

I had to decide which occasions to include and which to leave out, and how to organize them. Then I had to lay down a plan on how arrange the elements. I opted for date and title labels as opposed to handwriting them, because my handwriting gets skewed sometimes, and I didn't know how to make them stand out from the rest of the text.

A rough sketch on rough paper was made for the first few pages - there wasn't any extensive, in-detail formatting, but the titles and dates were to be on the top right of each page.

2. Page arrangement

It might help to have some sort of angled ruler or similar that can help you with the folding. I selected a few sheets of a few colors respectively, then folded all of them in half (one sheet of A4 paper is equal to two sheets of A5).

Fold them all tight, then use the box cutter to slice through them, making two sheets of A5 paper. I arranged all of them in non-consecutive colors, so I won't have two of the same color in the range of 3-4 pages at a time.

3. Photo collecting and printing

From the key occasions that I selected, I chose at least one photo each, from Between, Facebook, Instagram, and my own photo albums. Double and triple check for repeats - I scanned through the photos but still managed to print an extra copy of a few photos.

Select all (Shift-A), right click, then select Print... A dialogue box should pop up, prompting you to choose your style of printing, your printing quality, paper quality, etc. Since my book as A5, the photos had to be small enough to fit into the page nicely. Also, I made sure to uncheck the Fit picture to frame box because I didn't want any photos cropped.

I printed 9 photos to a sheet of 70gsm A4 sized white paper, then meticulously cut each and every one photo from 9 sheets of paper with a box cutter and steel ruler.

4. Custom-made date labels

I have a mild case of OCD where my tables in MSWord has to be all uniform and with adequate spacing. I made one table for each type/category of labels - the dates, the occasion, and I did one for the page numbers, but by the time I had the dates and occasion labels cut out, I gave up on them. LOL

I made a point to use 0.5 point dotted lines as the table outlines so it wouldn't be as hideous when I got round to cutting it. 

5. Adhesive backing

About half to three-quarters of a standard roll of double-sided tape was used to stick everything to the pages - the labels as well as the photos.

For the photos, I used a small square in each corner. For all the labels, a small knob at each end, and one more in the center for the longer ones. I contemplated using the gluestick for this, but I tried it on another DIY venture and the adhesion wore off after just a while.

6. Content

After arranging all the photos in chronological order, I set to work labeling each page with a date and the appropriate occasion title, then the relevant photos. Then each page was slowly filled with any thoughts and feelings that were synonymous with that particular day/occasion.

Every now and then I put in a resin sticker that I got at Mr DIY.

7. Cover and binding

I was aiming for the look of a spiral bound journal-type look, with a wrapped hardcover. What I used for the front and back cover was a piece of A4 thick card that was sliced in half much like the book pages.

I DIY-ed the cover illustration, printed it out, then wrapped it around one piece of the A5 thick card, securing with more double-sided tape. Some extra white paper cut to size was used to cover up the back of the cover. I didn't bother with wrapping the back cover.

As for the binding, it was done at a printing shop opposite my old high school, for less than MYR5.

===

So there it is. My projects usually come out looking almost there but lacking something, but I was proud of this particular one. The cover could've looked better, but yeah.


Hope this served as a reference to some of you guys or gals who's into putting a little sweat and blood into a thoughtful gift for you significant other.



Photos taken with Samsung Galaxy Note 3
Edited with Fotor.com

Library Coffee Bar, Avenue K, Jalan Ampang

The coffee culture is pretty much a thing in the mainstream world, and as I mentioned in my Coffee Cottage post, coffee bars and cafes are mushrooming all over Kuala Lumpur.

The Library is a popular chain of bars among the modern city night-life - it's in many hip areas frequented by the young and trendy. They've come up with the Library Coffee Bar at Avenue K, replacing Stage club along with Johnny Rockets. It's a coffee bar where the baristas don't wear Starbucks-esque aprons, but smart vests with a shirt.


Memories came flooding in when I stepped out onto the foyer - in 2012 I waited here for Miyavi, and that was one of the best nights of my life. I could visualize where the stage was, where the VIP area was, and where we headbanged all night to Miyavi's performance... *sigh*


My friend from high school Erwin works there, and I've been wanting to try out the place for some time. And I did, along with two guys, on the day that Erwin wasn't working. Which wasn't too big an issue, and I got to try out the stuff there anyway.

BOOKSHELF. And le people =D

You'd be a little bit confused, because there's a Johnny Rockets podium right outside (both Johnny Rockets and Library Coffee Bar share the same entrance), but once you get past the bright colors representing Johnny, you'd be welcomed into a rustic cafe and the delicious aroma of waffles cooking behind a glass divider.

Sound-proofed walls dominates the upper floor, highlighted with dim lights.

There are two levels to the coffee bar, both dominated by a hipster-ish bookshelf. The lower level is brighter, giving the place a more lively atmosphere; while the upper level, with an actual bar with bar stools, small arm chairs in a corner, and some couches oozed a more laid-back and cuddly feel. It isn't as mainstream as a Starbucks joint, but it was definitely reminiscent of a Starbucks joint - I would say the difference in atmosphere, as the Library Coffee Bar definitely oozed more class.



We ordered a drink each. Well, I ordered drinks for the both of us. My regular would be a green tea soy frappe at Starbucks, or a Pure Vanilla at CBTL. I ordered a hazelnut white coffee for him, and I tried out the pure vanilla. The prices were pretty much like Starbucks or CBTL, but I preferred how deliciously creamy yet light the pure vanilla turned out to be!

What our dates usually looks like if we're not puffing away or talking.

We were later joined by Ronnie, whom I haven't seen in ages and refuses to post a shot of his sick robotic arm tattoo. I didn't get a shot of his macchiato, which came in an espresso cup.


I need to rant about my obsession with espresso. Not the coffee itself - heavens, no, it's way too strong for me; but with the word itself. Espresso is the Italian word for the strong shot of caffeine that's used in a lot of coffee-based beverages now, and it is NOT to be confused with EXpresso. You neither spell it nor pronounce it as expresso. ESPRESSO is the way to go. The Italians and I will thank you very much. End of rant LOL.


Location - 6 / 10 (central, but I wouldn't drive all the way to Avenue K just for a cup of coffee)
Atmosphere - 9.5 / 10 (I love rustic, homey, snuggly atmospheres)
Beverage quality - 8.5 / 10 (I can only rate for the pure vanilla - hazelnut is not really up in my hood)
Price - 6 / 10
Service - 9 / 10 (friendly, efficient, and professional)


LIBRARY COFFEE BAR
Business hours: 8.30 a.m. - 11 p.m.
Lot G-8B, Avenue K,
156, Jalan Ampang,
50450 Kuala Lumpur.
Tel.: 603 2181 6077

Coffee Cottage, SS15, Subang Jaya

Burger bars and coffee bars are mushrooming all over Kuala Lumpur and Selangor, and places like Coffea Coffee and BurgerLab are places that the young people now frequent, especially given the now higher income and higher ability to spend, as well as the modern culture of posting everything on Instagram.

Coffee Cottage - the home of barista coffee and felines

While catching up with my friend a few weeks ago during a jogging meet-up, she shared to me a location called Coffee Cottage, which is known for the cats within the cafe. In other words, a cat cafe. Perfect for those who love cats and enjoy a good cup of barista coffee!


Since the boyfie and I are pretty much feline fanatics, we made semi-impromptu plans to visit the place after having pork noodles, which is within the SS15 vicinity. The place is next to Espresso Lab, on the upper floor. It's a small-ish place, with several tables (smoking and non-smoking), as well as a specified area where all the cats live and play.

Flat whites with basic latte art

Each person who enters to play with the cats have to have ordered one dish and/or coffee or other, and don't worry, you can take the food in with you as long as you keep the cats from consuming them.

I spotted Garfield first before we went in - he snoozed most of the time in a corner.

There are two glass doors at the entrance of the kitty area - one door has to be closed before the other is opened to ensure that the cats stay in. You're required to disinfect your hands before entering the kitty area, and there's a supply of kitty teasers you could bring in with you to play with the felines.

The tabby - Alvin. Playful, but not too fond of human contact.

*RAWR!*

There's an assortment of breeds and ages of cats, with some more social than others, and some more accepting of being picked up and cuddles than others. We ordered a flat white each just for the sake of ordering, and just moved into the kitty area.

Boyfie playing with Puddle with the teaser.

Puddle and Garfield were the two kitties that appealed to us and played with us the most. Well, Puddle was the one who played with us the most, and let us cuddle it to sleep. Garfield mainly slept in a corner, while I became a partial bitch and woke him up to play LOL


Because it's an interesting concept (the book cafe concept is no longer relevant, regardless of how nice it seems), youngsters and hipsters alike flock to the place - c'mon, SS15 is basically the heaven for people from Taylor's University, Taylor's College, INTI Subang, Sri KL, and whichever other campus which is within that area.

Selfie with Puddle - he's a natural selfie poser :D

And a selfie with Garfield - I sent this picture to my dad, and he said the cat didn't look too happy XD

Personally, the coffee wasn't much to shout about, though I do appreciate the latte art. The overall layout of the cafe and the location is also pretty convenient and comfortable. The cafe is open from 2p.m. to midnight, and is closed on Tuesdays, so plan accordingly if you feel like a dose of coffee with felines.


Location - 8.5 / 10 (parking could be a problem, unless you park inside Asia Cafe)
Atmosphere - 9 / 10
Food/beverage quality - 8 / 10
Price - 8.5 / 10 (you pay for the atmosphere)
Service - 9.5 / 10 (the staff are super friendly!)


COFFEE COTTAGE

2p.m. - 12a.m. (closed on Tuesday)
1-1, Jalan SS15/8A,
Subang Jaya,
47500
Petaling Jaya,
Selangor.
Tel.: 603-5613 0078
Coffee Cottage Facebook

Of Saturday work, Green Packet, pool, and Aaron Yan

Where I'm interning, we need to work on alternate Saturdays. Sometimes it's bummer, but it's a half-day work thing and you can wear anything on that day, which is an unfathomable plus to me.


This particular Saturday was cold, so I opted for my long-sleeved orange abstract Mickey tee and shorts to work (I still don't get why I chose to wear shorts). We had breakfast at Sunshine Boy before heading to work.


We refer to An Sim Cafe in Bandar Puchong Jaya as Sunshine Boy, because there's this guy who works there (we assume he's the owner) who looks like a Japanese guy with a closely shaved head, ripped with a tribal sleeve, and a personality which would light up anyone's morning. He's impossibly cheerful, and really good with interacting with people; hence, the nickname Sunshine Boy.


Anyway, work was slow on this day, because I was still waiting for my modified/updated press releases (in three different languages) to be approved, but my superior asked me to do radio listing first. Alrighty, so I took it as an opportunity to check if my previous submissions have been posted; and to finally find the infozone part of the website for the Malay radio stations.


Even after posting, I still had to wait for my press release approval. So, in the meantime, my fellow intern suggested that I check the operating hours of the P1 HQ and I saw that it closes at 1pm - the time when I get off work.


I went up to see the people from accounts and asked if I could claim from the company should I have to pay for any outstanding charges as informed by P1.


Here's the thing: we were to apply for a P1 modem to be used for our 4-day event, and cancel it before it exceeded the trial period (7 days). So my colleague and I both applied for the modem and called to terminate our services on the same days. I took my modem to the Sunway Pyramid kiosk within 3 days (even when I was told that I had 14 days to do so) and the staff informed me that I had MYR320 in outstanding balance.


WTF?!


Naturally, I started throwing a civilized tantrum, and even if I had wanted to pay to settle the issue quickly, I didn't have the cash. So I went to lunch while towing along a useless device.


Anyway, I got permission to leave the office early to resolve the issue at P1 HQ, which was on Jalan Templer. This is a place I absolutely detest - there are a total of 3 roundabouts along this road, 2 of which have NO SIGNBOARDS. Well, fine. It took me 3 runs up and down Jalan Templer and the help of Waze to finally get to P1 HQ, a.k.a Green Packet.


I went in and got a number, and waited for about 10 minutes for my turn. The service staff wasn't as efficient as I would have liked, but they were courteous and helpful. It seems that the Sunway staff miscategorized my case as an early termination, which meant that I had voided the contract that came into place the moment the 7-day trial period ended, which I obviously didn't.


Anyway, the issue was resolved without much further arguments, and I went through the typical Jalan Templer roundabout-to-Jalan-Gasing-and-Jalan-Klang-Lama-and-NPE traffic jam. My laptop was passed to the boyfriend (who somehow got to the food court outside my office) and my card punched, so I went straight to where he was, and we headed out to lunch.


We chose a Taiwanese place from the Setia Walk website, but couldn't find it, so settled for some overpriced nasi kandar food - my chicken tandoori with cheese naan wasn't too bad, though. A movie was due, but there wasn't any that we wanted to watch at a time that allowed enough breathing room for an upcoming concert later in the day.


That was the day he taught me how to actually play pool. My first pool lesson was taught by Jasmine, who taught me the basic rules of the game. My boyfriend taught me how to play the game with the proper physical positioning for optimal game play, which involved a lot of tush attention to and from both parties.


After a few games - a couple of which that he obviously let me win - we went home to freshen up before the concert. The last time I consciously listened to Aaron Yan's music was when he was with Fahrenheit, and that was when I was around 17.


I picked up a dapper man in a long-sleeve turtleneck (you have got to love a guy in a turtleneck) before heading to Kenanga Wholesale City. I expected long car lines entering the parking lot, but there were none to be found, though most of the mall parking was full, but then again, it was a weekend.


Parked the car at a lucky spot, tried to take the lift up but it stopped on the 14th floor (aptly named 13A because 4 is an unlucky number for the Chinese, proving ethnicity of the ownership of the mall). I felt super special because the both of us were like "let's take the stairs, it's only a floor up, and the direction to the stairwell is this way". It was like we were leading the rest of the people up.


The concert started at 8.30pm, and this was the first concert I attended that had numbered seats. Personally, a concert has to have a free-standing area/mosh pit, and everyone has fun with everyone else's sweat. Seats, for me, are meant for orchestra or opera performances, or in other words - high-class entertainment.


Fun fact: Aaron mixed up a set of lyrics from a song (one of the only few that I knew throughout the entire concert). There are two parts of the chorus from Hebe Tian's 《寂寞寂寞就好》, and he mixed up the lyrics there.


Overall, we came to the conclusion that Aaron has a really good, solid voice, but it isn't too versatile - it's weird listening to his voice in a jazzy number. Guest performers included a young girl in a purple dress, and James (Malaysian musician in Britain), who has a record/album coming out in about February (he has the sexiest raspy singing voice, btw).


Dinner was Taiwanese food (complete with stinky tofu), and we headed home.

~

It's been a really long time since anyone had felt the need to pamper me like this. Sure, he's not perfect, but neither am I. Who am I to ask for perfection when perfection is impossible for myself? But he's been the sweetest I've ever met, to the point where I had my cheese naan cut into bite-sized pieces while I ate my chicken.


One of the things I like best is that he isn't squirmy - like how some guys would be with their girlfriends when they're out with friends. PDA isn't preferred, but he doesn't mind the occasionally quick peck on the lips.

To him

Life is much more easy going now than it was a few months ago.


A few months ago, I was still bawling my eyes out occasionally for something dear I had lost. At that time, I was blinded by hurt, grief, and many other negative emotions that just clouded my mind very much. I think a recent crush cleared my head - everything is just me, or at least most of it.


One and a half years - fell apart just like that. Because of jealousy, selfishness, obsessiveness.


The problem with me is that I see my faults, but no matter how much I remind myself not to make them, they happen anyway. Am I not trying hard enough?


I was alright for a couple of months. Maybe it was because there was something to look forward to - false hope. My downfall for so many things. He said I was pessimistic before. Personally, I feel that I'm overly optimistic.


"Everything will turn out perfectly", I'll say to myself, every time something starts to happen, and scenarios start conjuring themselves in my head. But as they say: "the higher you put your hopes, the harder you will fall". I've fallen, so many times, from such daunting heights that I brought myself to.


He deleted me from Facebook, just because I had written a blog post at that time, and he judged me based on that (it was about a week old). I kept it that way for a bit - I didn't feel that I needed to re-add him to prove that I was his "friend". After all, I have other friends off of Facebook, and I'm okay with them.


A few days ago, purely on impulse and feeling, I re-added him. In a way I regretted it - his face appeared practically everywhere (not my news feed, though), along with my crushes.


Every time I see either name or photo, I'll inevitably think to myself: "what a useless wreck I am". Friends think I was alright after the break, because shortly after, I was "crushing on other guys" already. I can't be sure, and I might sound like a total bitch for saying this, but in a way, it helped me cope - it slowly helped me escape those nights (every night) that I would cry myself to sleep.


But to that one crush, if you're reading this: I really did like you. I would get extra nervous around you, I had to keep in mind to keep my knees from trembling, and every time you looked at me, my heart would skip a beat.


Other than that, I spent half a day with a couple yesterday, and I was reminded of so many things...


I remembered that I used to be jealous of them, because they could be so lovey-dovey, while I had to endure being away from him for long periods of time.


I remembered those times when we also used to do all that - cuddling, nuzzling, hugging, kissing, sharing stories, watching movies together... I miss that.


Right now my mind is in a mess - I don't know what to think anymore... Do I miss him, or do I miss doing all of those things with someone, anyone? I don't think something that had been the core of my life for a year and a half would be something that my heart will let go of easily.


Most would think: "this is utter bullshit". But I know, in some corners of the world, someone knows how I feel. I wouldn't call it pain, but this confusion is unbearable.


His favorite girl rock band came to Malaysia about a week or so ago, and he blogged about it. I put off reading it, because due to his "obsession" with them, I became jealous of them, and consciously made an effort to dislike them (most of the time). The only song that I listen to from them: Namida no Regret, the song that he introduced to me to listen to. Till now, it's the only song I cry to.


Then he had a recent blog update, so I took a look. I merely scrolled through, but from the first few paragraphs, I could see that his writing had improved so much - it became professional-looking.


From that, I deduce that I myself have no changed much. He, however, had moved on way beyond me. Actually doing things with his life. Me? Like Ken Min said, I'm pursuing my own perfection in my own way.


Ken Min... I've known him since primary school. I used to make fun of him, and sort of distanced myself from him during primary school, just because he was different than other boys. Who knew that this boy would now be the friend that I confide most of my pains to, and he actually understands them?


In a lot of ways, when I'm feeling at the bottom of existence, he'll comfort me and give advice, which usually cheers me up. Or at least, I feel less shitty about myself.


I have so many thoughts, so many self-conjured conclusions (some also define this as "assumptions"). I was just listening to the All-American Rejects' Gives You Hell on the way home from badminton last night. I can actually say that if I see his face, it gives me hell.


Not hell, per se, but it makes me really confused with myself every time I see him on Facebook. I concluded that, despite all my hatred toward him, and everything related to him - I still can't let him go. Another way of saying it would be that I still love him, to whatever extent.


I know he's reading this, so are many other people I know. Maybe not now, maybe about a month down the road, but I think he'll read it one day. I imagine him saying: "serves her right for being such a bitch", but somewhere in the back of my head, I think he won't. Or rather, I wouldn't know how he would react.


A year wouldn't suffice. It would probably take a few years to finally coax my heart into letting the past, stay in the past. He's not coming back to you, love. He won't and never will. He fell in love with you, and you made him fall out of love with you.


Love might be a strong word to use here, but honestly speaking, I really did feel it. It wasn't just "I wanna do couple stuff with him", but rather "I want to share everything with him". The line between obsession and love is blurred, was blurred.


Why is it always that you have to lose that which is dearest to your heart, in order for you to know that it was the most important thing in your life? Then again, no pain, no gain.


And why is it that I'm screwing every bit of chance I get, every time? Impatience? That, and some other factors.


Why the sudden outburst of feelings? Humans are emotional beings, in me more than many others. And the whole point I started writing was to let out steam, before I explode and cave in.


***


Gonna blog about Thursday (The Hobbit) and later today soon, if I get photos. Have an awesome day, everyone!

DIY Gift Deco

Instead of a box of random stuff that I got for the BF's last birthday, I decided to get something much more simple for him for Valentine's this year, which is ... I can't say, 'cause I haven't given it to him yet.


I can show him the wrapping, though. I got this standard wrapping paper from Memory Lane for RM2, and just randomly wrapped his present with it. I couldn't find a suitably sized box for it, so I just skipped getting a box altogether and wrapped his gift in the plastic wrapper that came with it.


I'm not a good gift wrapper as it is, and asking me to gift-wrap a none-angular, soft item would be potentially disastrous. My attempt at wrapping the BF's Valentine's present turned out alright - at least it looked normal, but a tad bit plain.


Most people would dress up plain wrapping with some ribbon, but since I don't have ribbon - or rather I'm too chicken and lazy to go through ALL of my mum's stuff looking for ribbon - I took a little inspiration from the BF's birthday present.


I gave him a jumble of stuff that I put in a box last year, and instead of letting everything roll and move around the box, I filled up the gaps with paper stars. I didn't make them purposely, but my sister and I had a hobby of making them when we were younger, and now we have bottles and jars lying around, filled with paper stars. Surprisingly they made very nice and functional "packing peanuts".

Full view with flash

Full view without flash

Back to the topic, instead of using ribbon, I just took a few shiny stars that I found in my old Starbucks Frappucino bottle and just stuck it randomly at a corner of the present with some tape that I folded over itself. I considered using Superglue for that, but then I remembered that I had a tendency to mess up everything and get my fingers stuck together.

Close up with flash

Close up without flash

There you go. Looks a little weird, but in my opinion it looks better than just the plain wrapping paper because it kinda looks like a wallet/purse.

It's been a year ♥

On January 5th, 2011, at 12.54am, the BF and I officially got together. It kinda surprised me that we've been together for a year. I'll be honest, in my past relationships I thought "this is the one". By the time I was together with the BF, I was already paranoid and thought this wouldn't last. Time has proven me wrong.

Here's a quick recap of our relationship in the past year.

January 5th - officially got together (changed Facebook status)
January 24th - first date at Berjaya Times Square, watched The Tourist, and had Marrybrown for lunch
Somewhere in February - met his friends officially (Zhi Sung & Ivan, Yong Ken & Kim Loong)
April - I started university
Around July - he went to Pangkor Laut Resort for four month for internship
24th September - took a break from internship, officially met his mum and stepdad for movie and lunch
October - back from internship


That just about summarizes the highlights of the entire year. Of course, much more stuff happened in between - the arguments, the sweet moments, a lot of other dates, and a lot of masochism on my part (I cut myself during a telephone argument once, regretted it).


All in all, lots of impatience, compromises and tolerance, as well as dedication, loyalty and love has been put into this relationship. I really hope all of it is worth it.


How we celebrated? Well... This year our anniversary fell on a Thursday, so obviously we had to either celebrate it early or late. We opted for the late celebration. How? By having a rather shitty day at Mid Valley.


Mum dropped us there, and truthfully, I'm not a real fan of the Mission Impossible series, neither do I find Tom Cruise so attractive that I would watch the movies just to see him. Our initial plan was to watch either The Awakening or Jack and Jill. Then out of the blue BF said he wanted to check for seats availability for MI4: Ghost Protocol. I wasn't too happy about it at first, but I let it pass anyway.


Then off to Chatime to get some morning Chas. I had myself a Hazelnut Chocolate Milk Tea with Coffee Jelly, and Bf had a Mango Green Tea. I had one more slot on my redemption card, so by right one cup was free. In the end I just got a 60% discount on the second cup. Why is it that I can get an entirely free regular drink with any other topping at Taylor's Lakeside branch but I can't get it at Mid Valley?


There was nothing much we could do about it, so we just took our drinks and proceeded to idly walking around Mid Valley and The Gardens. Amazingly, we walked pointlessly for a few hours, while I dropped really heavy hints about things that I liked when I looked through store windows. Whether he got the hints is another story.


Before we went to the cinema for the movie, we stopped by Just Popiah for some crispy popiah. We wanted the Blue Crispy - tuna and spicy tuna. However, some miscommunication led us getting the original crispy popiah rather than the tuna ones. We watched her assemble the popiah, but by the time we found out that she was making the wrong order, she had already finished with the filling and was rolling it up. Oh well.


Contrary to my previous perception, MI4 was pretty good, despite the lack of good make-up for the ladies (in my opinion). Like always, GSC cinemas are goddamn cold. By the time the movie ended, I was completely thirsted from lack of liquid intake.


On the way to McDonald's, however, my slipper got stepped on again by BF. For the past few dates, regardless of my footwear, he's been stepping on my toes and/or shoes. That just made me trip and I was moody for the next half hour. I got my McFlurry, ate it, called me mum to see whether she could drive us home, and listened to a bit of feng shui tips from a "master" I have not seen before.


The day could have gone on longer but he was obviously more tired than I was, so why force him?


Dinner of the day was fried "dong fun" (tapioca glass noodles), and home-made strawberry shortcake to finish it off. Apologies again for the lack of pictures. Blogger's image uploader is not being friendly. Should I move my blog to Wordpress?