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Sunday, July 7, 2013

Lines and connections

Relationships aren't as simple as you thought they were. As a child, our mum and dad are married, our aunts and uncles are married to each other, and that's that. Even when your much-older-than-you cousin gets a girlfriend, it's just him and her. How complicated could it be?

As you grow up, you start to realize that relationships aren't linear - they are a web woven by a demented spider. Practically everyone is connected to everyone. You first notice this in kindergarten, when one of your friends tell you not to be friends with another little girl for whatever reason, and you're standing there dumbfounded. Should you listen to her? Should you defy her? Or should you try to be the peacekeeper and continue being friends with both, but somewhat secretly?

Slowly, you realize there are real friends, and fake friends. As well as boys who want you for you, and want you just for your sex. You start to realize there's so much gossip and bad-mouthing behind backs of people you see are best of friends with each other. You realize that drama is everywhere, even with those people who say that they hate it.

The clear connecting line you used to draw in kindergarten to connect people in your family tree doesn't really exist with people outside of the family tree. They might suddenly fuzz out, or go in a completely different and unfathomable direction.

Friendships start to become something like buried treasure, that you stumble upon, and keep if they're good, but at any point of time, someone could just come up to you and take it away by force. People around you start saying "friends come and go" as you share your worries with them about other friends who suddenly distanced themselves from you.

Now enter the thing that all music people make music about - LOVE. I mean, it's a hormone released by the brain, big deal. NOT THAT SIMPLE.

Strange thing, love. And for that matter, boy-girl relationships in general. Referring to the example I mentioned, or just use Sleeping Beauty as your referring example. Boy meets girl, they get together, happily ever after. This shit is rare to say the least. Human behavior is the most unpredictable - the most predictable people can do the most unpredictable things.

You know that girl, who says she loves her man so much, and has made all the promises, all the plans, everything. Two weeks later, she's bought new lingerie for her new date. The guy who's been loyal to his girlfriend for over 10 years, wedding bells already just days away, and suddenly there's another one added into the equation.

It's not unheard of, and it's a particularly nice twist of events that drama producers like to add in just before they slot in a damned commercial. Either it's because it's a common thing that happens in real life that the producers use that story line, or the fact that people have come to want a movie-like life so much that they're grown accustomed to adapting drama story lines into their lives, no one knows.

This is the most confusing thing I've encountered. And there exists such a thing as to confusion of feelings, at least, to oneself. You fall in love with a girl, even if you spend more time apart than together, and you suddenly find other girls you've never noticed before, who might be able to offer you more than your love. You don't love them, but you relish the attention showered upon you. When really, you're just another human craving for attention, weak when faced with new experiences. Your heart really is still with her. And hopefully, her heart is still beating and craving for you.

A temporary desire is never a match for something you've been fighting to keep alive for months. Think carefully. By all means, do as your heart desires, but watch before you fall. Don't be like me - a wreck of emotions.

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