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Thursday, June 28, 2018

My (very brief) experience on a sugar dating site

Disclaimer: I have no prejudice against individuals who are into sugaring - this is just an account of my brief time on a sugaring site that was fueled by foolish curiosity.

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House renovations are upon me, and since purchasing a bare unit gave me almost endless possibilities, I joked with the BF that we can both find a sugar daddy/mommy each to pay for the renovations, and perhaps do several outlandish designs like have everything custom-made and play with fancy floor tiles.


This led me to check out one of the more popular sugar dating sites that I've heard of, that I shall not name. Either way, my signing up for an account was fueled by a joking notion, curiosity, and a genuine contemplation that I could very well lessen our new-found homeowners' financial burden, given that I could find a daddy/mommy who would be intellectually compatible and will play by my terms.


Now, this was after seeing several testimonials from sugar babies - locally and internationally - that sugaring is no longer as strictly sexual as it used to be, and that all some daddies/mommies requested was companionship and/or good conversations.


This non-sexual factor was what allowed me to even consider taking up a sugar relationship as sort of a "side income" channel.


And before jumping to conclusions, the BF knew about me signing up. He knew my reasons and intentions of signing up.


So I went to the website and signed up - quite hesitantly - and used a really old picture for a mandatory display picture, because the site didn't even let you browse potential daddies/mommies without completing your profile with photo(s), a display name and description, as well as some details like your physical qualities, educational background, etc.


Even before I decided on a photo to use (and even before it was approved), I already had a daddy put me into his Favorites list. (putting "tattooed" into your first liner probably is a good way to go)


After my photo got approved, I got a flurry of messages all the way until I deactivated my account less than 48 hours later (more on this later). Some messages were friendly enough, which somewhat convinced me that hey, not all daddies on this page are looking for vaginas who can hold a conversation and will submit to them just because they're paying for their company.


Soon after I could access my messages, I sent a screenshot of the first message I received - a very polite and neutral one - to the boyfriend, jokingly captioned: "see your GF still very got market k", to which he joking replied: "so what are you waiting for!" I followed up by asking if he felt comfortable with me conversing with other men in this nature, to which he confirmed that he wasn't.


To be honest, that was it. Even if I have decided that "yes, I'm gonna get a sugar daddy on my terms" so that I can have my dream kitchen and wardrobe, it wouldn't be at the expense of my relationship. But I stayed active on the site a little longer to observe daddy behavior.


I was quite honest with some daddies when conversation got along the way that I had a boyfriend, and that I wasn't quite sure if sugaring was for me. I expected teasing or provocative messages, and as well as straightforward requests for sex, since the "traditional" idea for sugaring was based around "intimate relations".


One of the first few messages I received was from this guy who also had tattoos, and overall he was the only one I was able to have good conversation with. We shared good chats over tattoos, piercings, cats, and the nature of relationships.


One particular seemed quite nervous - he looked young, and his message was strangely worded and started with a huge chunk of spam text. I also got a very straightforward message that seemed like it came from a very experienced daddy.


Conversation with this particular person, however, was the scale-tipping piece of shit grain of rice. It started innocently enough, but he persisted that we moved to another chatting platform, to which I repeatedly rejected. In his defense, the chat function on the website and app were terrible - syncing was slow and super laggy, and if you were not a premium member, several messages could be flagged for providing contact information (this is detected by certain keywords in messages).

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There was first the "your relationship must be in trouble" when I shared that I have a boyfriend and he knows that I was on the platform. He insisted that something must be missing from my relationship since I was on a sugaring platform.

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Most of that particular conversation gave me an unexplainable amount of frustration and anxiety, but the bottom line was the insistence that I had underlying relationship resentments toward the BF that I'm not recognizing, as well as insisting that I somehow provide more information about myself by moving the conversation to another platform despite my repeated rejections to do so, to which he responded by implying that I'm so much more troublesome than the other girls he was talking to.


To be exact, the reason I told him I was on the platform "as an experiment" (though this was probably the triggering point as I didn't specify what type of experiment). I suppose the bottom line that he was pretty much crediting every "rejection" of him to my mental health, and that just pissed me off.


Anyway, shortly after this little fiasco, I promptly left him dry and deactivated my account (not sure how that works), as well as uninstalled the app from my phone.


After this experience, though, I kept getting dating app/site type ads while playing mobile games. While I expected some "phenomenon" of the sort, what I didn't expect were the types of dating sides/apps that were advertised, like the mature-focused one above, as well as "travel"-oriented and Arab-focused ones.


And as a conclusion, let me reiterate that this was merely an exploration of a social platform, and any consideration of actually engaging in sugaring was purely financially driven. I will not jeopardize my relationship for short term monetary gains. I also have no issues whatsoever with individuals who opt for sugaring.

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