Pages

Search This Blog

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Things to consider before getting body mods

Body mods encompass all procedures done to the human body in order to change its appearance, so it includes cosmetic procedures like cosmetic surgery, fillers, and semi-permanent make-up. But the term "body mods" itself has a slightly more biased connotation, and is usually used to refer to tattoos, piercing, subdermal implants, and other related modifications.


Society is generally more accepting of cosmetic surgery (provided it's successfully done) compared to body mods, and while popularity of body mods are rising and thus becoming more "accepted", there are still some things that you will have to live with - whether they're pleasant or not, and they're usually the latter. Most of these things apply more to those who have more/bigger/more extreme or "controversial" types of modifications, especially if they are done in areas with higher visibility.


Regardless of the rise of popularity of body modifications (especially tattoos) in mainstream media and society, there will be a large population of the world who almost literally scowls at body modifications. There are also other nuances within the world of body modification itself that heavily involve personal opinions, but here I'll talk about the more general impressions.


Here are just some factors that you may want to consider before taking the leap, especially if you're planning something a little more than just earlobe piercings at your local mall (which I don't recommend) that will be usually visible.


Of course, if you're already off the ledge, you might understand some of these things, and if there's anything that I missed out, feel free to widen my knowledge base in the comments~


I'm also not talking about really extreme modifications here, like eyeball tattooing. "Acceptable" modification really is a gray area, and greatly varies from person to person. I would say... everything that doesn't involve extreme stretching and everything that can be concealed with long sleeves, trousers, and proper shoes. Tiny, tiny tattoos are pretty much also out-of-topic here.


SOCIETAL JUDGEMENT?

People will judge you. Period.


Parents will pull their children away from you. You will get looks from people. If you happen to be female, you will be more easily subject to more open sexual harassment/catcalling, and some sexist slurs because of your body mods, though this usually comes from already-sexist dipshits.


Kids are usually more curious than anything - I've had a toddler touch my thigh tattoo out of curiosity as I was passing him in a narrow walkway once, but it's usually the parents who know more about the negative hoo-ha of tattoos that sometimes audibly tell their children not to look at me if they don't want to get hurt by me.


It's not always direct confrontation, or audible/visible scoffing, but there are thick-skinned individuals who insist that since we put something so visually glaring on ourselves, we're already expecting/asking for stares, and these are the people who will not look away if I stare back at them.


You'll have to live with the fact that people will unabashedly stare and/or judge (whether to your knowledge or not) should you choose to not actively conceal them. And while most of these can be easily brushed off, this may extend to other areas that will inconvenience you, or if you're a female, put you into a more compromisable position.


POTENTIAL FAMILY CONFLICTS

Depending on how open-minded and accepting your family is, it will still vary from family member to family member. Especially for those who have stronger opinions on your modifications, it will then become a dance between both of you to keep a civil relationship.


My mum doesn't really like my modifications, but keeps quiet about them. I have a few relatives who openly voice their concern over my future wellbeing should I continue to get more. One family member has also voiced their distaste about me spending so much on "designer" tattoos when I could have gotten something similar for cheaper elsewhere. There is also the constant floating assumption that all decisions regarding body mods are impulsive and reckless.


The point is, how you react to their reactions will also play a part here: you could be defensive and confrontational, patient and eager to educate, or just keep mum as they splatter you with potentially distasteful comments.


Personally, I would love to be confrontational, because to be quite honest, I'm sick of being treated like a child in a candy store with a credit card in my pocket - eager to try everything without thinking anything through. But confrontation against my more self-righteous relatives means a shouting match will break out, drama will ensue, and it will be awkward for everyone. So I swallow my pride and let them continue living under their rock, while I try to not let their sometimes hurtful comments get to me.


Also, most immediate family members, especially those who share the same household with you, will usually come to accept your modifications. I suppose it'll depend on how good your relations are with your family members, and what they prioritize more - family "pride", or actual family.


EMPLOYMENT & CAREER

An extension of societal judgement is how you would do in terms of getting employment and in terms of your career.


More and more companies and corporations are more accepting of employees having modifications, and although I have not encountered such an experience yet, there is a possibility of companies passing you on for someone less qualified just because you have visible modifications.


It depends on your field of study/work, and also the career path you plan to take. Some careers are more strict than others, so take this into account if you have a passion for a career that might be more attentive to such employee details.


If you're unsure, it would be best to limit your modifications to lower levels, or to keep them within body parts that are easily hidden with clothes.


I personally do not have a really fixed career path, and I'm unsure about whether I will need to job hunt in the future, so for now I'm trying to keep things fairly manageable, although I have no qualms in getting a sleeve if and when I get the proper idea and funds.


ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS & MARRIAGE

Some may love them, some may hate them. Some has told me I'm the main character of their fetish fantasies because of them, and some have downright said I should cover up because I looked like a slut.


Ask yourself this: if you really had to choose between the tattoo of your dreams and the person of your dreams, which one would you choose? Answer this question with the notion that the "person of your dreams" is oppressive when it comes to getting body modifications, sometimes for the most ridiculous of reasons. When I was presented with a similar choice, I saw that the man of my dreams was really just be disillusioned into thinking he really wanted only the best for me, i.e. he didn't want the world to think that I was a slut, etc.


And let's say your partner completely accepts your modifications (I suppose a limitation is fine, a relationship is mutual compromise anyway), if and when you decide to get married, how will his/her parents take it?


If things get ugly, will you be willing to be the rift between your partner and their family? It will also depend on his/her relationship with his/her family, but personally I feel that actively forcing your partner to choose between family and love isn't the best thing to do.


So far, most of my partners' families have decided to just accept me. My current partner's mother has only one condition - that I cover up reasonably when at their house or out with them, which I find reasonable, so I play along.


QUESTIONS

Now this is a gray area for some: there are those who don't mind questions, and those who detest even the most innocent of questions regarding their body mods.


For me, I look for intention - most questions are based on genuine curiosity and desire to know more, and as uninformed as they are, I try my best to answer those questions objectively. And then there are cynical people who try to find loopholes and criticize/shame you for having the gall to use your own money to do stuff on your own body.


So far, the most frequently asked question I get is: does it hurt? I am usually very tempted to answer sarcastically.


Then there are the very general questions, like "how much would a so-and-so tattoo of this size cost?" The thing is, even tattoo artists themselves can't answer a question like that until they know where you want it, whether you want color with it, and how detailed you want it to be, and/or other details before they can even quote you a rough price.


Another question I get (usually from exasperated members of family) is: why do you defile your skin like this? (not exact words, but it pretty much encompasses what they mean). Because my tattoos tend to attract more attention than, let's say my sister's tattoos, which are more "harmless" specimens of cats and tribal designs. Some of my family had very strong opinions about ladies who have tattoos, and who would've thought that one of their young girls would have a knack for such provocative imagery?


YOUR BUCKETLIST

One of my bucketlist items included visitin a ryokan and onsen, and being an oblivious teen/child, I didn't bother to check if there were any restrictions to these places. It was only in recent years that I found that several (not all) ryokan and/or onsen actually restrict tattooed individuals from entering.


Simon and Martina's video on the topic also gave me a little more insight to the topic, though it would be good to note that their Caucasian appearance does give them a little more leeway as compared to someone who looks Asian, if not necessarily Japanese. This is more of a hindrance than an actual roadblock, because I would just have to put in a little more effort into finding a place that allows tattooed individuals.


So, depending on your bucketlist, your body mods may or may not pose as a hindrance to an otherwise smooth experience.


***


In conclusion, the final choice should always be yours, after consideration of several sources of hopefully knowledgeable and/or professional advice. Preferably with a fairly long period of contemplation, if you're prone to impulsive decisions like I am. Happy modding!

No comments:

Post a Comment