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Saturday, March 21, 2015

A letter to them

Dear girls,


It's so easy to put the blame.


Redirect the fault away from your self.


Away from your selfishness and foolishness.


From your lack of responsibility and appreciation.


To just say "it wasn't my fault".


But it doesn't spare you from the regret.


The unexpected pain that comes with it.


Years ago I told myself this wouldn't happen.


People around me cautioned again and again that it would.


And now it has.


Part of me wants to vanish from existence.


The other part of me wishes I were never that foolish.


I thought I was cool.


I thought it was being so mature and different from other girls who were bent of fashion.


I thought I was in control.


But I wasn't.


Dear girls,


You might tell yourself now that you won't regret it.


You will deceive yourself saying that the one who will marry you won't mind.


You will brainwash yourself into thinking that it's part of a normal youth.


It's not.


It's one of the most degrading and foolish things you could do.


To let boy after boy take advantage of you.


Thinking that you're toying with them.


When in reality...


You're the toy.


The very cheap and willing toy.


Easily obtainable with no value whatsoever.


He won't like you after that.


He won't call you back.


He's got what he wanted.


That's it.


You've diminished your value by freely giving him your body to use.


Dear girls,


Don't be the fool that I was.


Who now hurts the person she loves.


By tarnishing not only my own value.


But by bringing shame to the person I love.


Just for a moment of adrenaline.


A moment of selfish pleasure.


A flash of selfish satisfaction.


It will destroy your future.


Of standing at the altar.


Of creating a family and home.


Of being together.


Not physically.


Not digitally.


Flirt by all means.


But NEVER undress for him.


Unless you can't bear a day without seeing him happy.


Unless you wished that the one hurting was you instead of him.


Dear girls,


I undressed for men whom I didn't love.


I succumbed foolishly to their sweet words despite my instinct.


No desire of the flesh is worthy of the shame that will come with it.


When he tells his friends how you did it for him.


Or how the people around you start distancing from the "slut".


Talking with your friends won't help.


Saying sorry won't ease the pain.


Feeling regret doesn't change the fact that you were once promiscuous.


It will come back to haunt you.


The truth is not something that can be buried and forgotten.


===


Many nights I lay awake in thought.


What if things happened differently?


What if I chose the better path to every fork I encountered?


But then perhaps I would never have met him.


And never would have truly loved.


Nothing in literature or media represents the truth.


The truth hurts.


Karma will teach you these lessons through pain and regret.


Through wisdom and self-value do you avoid the despair.


This isn't about misogyny and the suppressing of female desires.


It's about protecting the person you love from the shame and hurt that came with you irresponsibility.


He might not mind, you say.


But no man fancies whispers of shame.


The past shall remain in the past.


But sometimes...


The past can also hurt...

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