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Monday, February 23, 2015

How I actually feel about 50 Shades


Might be inappropriate for minors LOL


People who know me even as acquaintances know that I'm not as decent as I look - I can turn practically anything into a dirty innuendo. Apart from Harry Potter and fairy tale collections, I used to read any adult novel that had erotica in it (cue Emmannuel and I, Cleopatra), and they were the books that I didn't told anyone I read.

When Fifty Shades of Grey took the literature world by storm, I have to admit that I was interested. Many of my friends were already reading it, and recommended it to me as they knew my preference for erotic literature.

For me, erotic literature didn't have to have Shakespearean vocabulary - it could be simple, but it had to be sensual, descriptive, yet exciting.

Essentially, E.L. James was inspired by the Twilight saga and her husband, hence the erotic fan fiction that they called a "literary sensation". Eventually I got the books through BR1M vouchers (thanks, MPH), and I shamelessly read through the series.

I was hooked at first, even though the first few "sex scenes" were strange to me. I could understand the simple language that narrated the story, but the way the sex scenes were described were overly amateur. I didn't read the last few parts that described how they did it in the yard while she was pregnant and/or with the kid playing in the yard (forgot which belongs to which).

A random writer from Thought Catalog could've done so much better. It was so... porn-like (a.k.a. so bland and uncreatively blunt). Christian just stuck his impossibly massive phallus into her and Ana orgasms every single time without extra groin stimulation. Excuse me, but I think I've read enough Cosmopolitan articles and online instructionals to know that it's almost impossible for most women to orgasm through 5-10 minutes of intense sex, no matter how pleasurable it feels.

And perhaps each sex scene could've been a little different from each other. Essentially it was just kiss, fuck, then Ana orgasming and collapsing. It's something that someone who only has a very vague grasp of sex would write, as opposed to the people who are familiar with erotic literature (Google Adrienne West on Thought Catalog).

Some other little details. I want my man to take the lead in the relationship, but not to the extent that he will control what I do with my body cosmetic-wise. Sure, he can have his opinions about bodily hair, but to say that's it's a deal-breaker sounds more like a very compromising relationship, don't you think? (apparently a lot of first-world girls don't think so)

As much as I like the idea of Christian shaving Ana, I cannot comprehend ANY living male to be 100% okay with menstruation. My SO doesn't sweat too much about it, but it's still not really something he'd be eager to voluntarily come into contact to too much. But Christian actually pulled a freaking tampon out of her.

The fact that his first experience was with a Mrs Robinson would've been a deal-breaker, especially if she was still a large part of his life. I would already be jealous AF if any of his exes were still in the picture, let alone almost in the center of the picture.

The petty things aside: if any man takes pleasure out of hurting women, sees fit to control every aspect of her life and punish her for not abiding by his demands, and to just throw the woman around however he likes isn't romance - it's abuse.

Some might retort that it's just the way the BDSM scene is. Well, I don't know what really goes on in the BDSM community, nor do I know how a dom-sub relationship works, but I do know that it is always consensual, and the safe words are always observed. At the end of every session, the dom helps the sub transition back into reality. More than once, Christian ignored Ana's safe words, and it doesn't compensate to apologize for "losing himself".

I'm not saying that abused individuals don't deserve love. In fact, they need more love than normal, but to feed their "desire" for inflicting and basking in the pain and agony of another individual is unhealthy.

Ana is a sarcastic yet easily manipulated person of literature, and Christian is just an abusive and controlling dom who seems to find it okay to use his past as an excuse to throw his money and power around.

It was an adventure when it lasted, but compared to other works I've seen, this is not worth being called a literary sensation, regardless of how many books it sold.

As for the movie, I imagined more of a Christian Bale type male to be Christian, which was why I was utterly disappointed when they announced Jamie Dornan to be cast as Christian. And naturally, I thought of Kristen Stewart as Ana, but the casted Dakota Johnson didn't really do it for me either, though she does have a pretty nice body, from what I glimpsed through the snippet of the trailer that I did see.

Essentially, it's just a sexual episode of abuse that silly Ana thought was romantic to go through with. Also, it's essentially porn, so I don't get why so many people are going crazy about the fact that it has been banned in theaters here in Malaysia.

Just my two cents on the topic. Feel free to agree or hate.

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