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Saturday, December 20, 2014

My two cents

It actually still really amazes me when misogyny so often shines through so many aspects of society, even when feminism is gaining so much popularity all over the world.

Having said that, I'm no feminist, if you prefer to be completely politically correct. I agree that scantily clad women are one of the essential "strategies" in marketing. I believe that men should still be chivalrous - that they still should pay for a woman's basic expenses, open doors, and do other gentlemanly things. Even if I can't be labelled as an extreme feminist (degrading men is just as "misogynistic" as degrading women), I definitely would not be labelled a feminist.

From my perspective, marriage meant something like a barter trade back in the olden days. The women were not allowed to receive education, much less join the workforce dominated by men (though this has changed drastically).

Women needed only to tend to their own business within the house, and be sexually appealing to their husbands, while the men were to slave away for money to be spent for the woman to continue being happy. Failure of the woman to tend to the house or be sexually unappealing meant that she not only failed as a wife, but she also failed as a woman. Failure of the man to give enough money to their wives meant he has failed as a provider.

After years of civil evolution, we've come to a society where men and women work equally not only because they have to, but some of them want to. After all, not all women want to be locked up at home, and to only see daylight when they need to tend to household errands, or when their husbands decide to take them out.

Though women who engage in casual "liaisons" with men are still deemed immoral, it is also more widely accepted, and the word "whore" is used in a much looser context (though that is as detrimental as it is liberating).

In other words, women have been given more freedom to do those that men have done for centuries without being called a failure as a woman, though women are still expected to present themselves in a feminine way, with basic knowledge in fashion, make-up, and composure in different settings (something I'm still trying to get used to).

Personally, I'm a lazy person - when I was younger and was prompted for my plans for the future, I thought of a good life: good-earning husband with the generosity to give me regular luxuries, and all I had to do was look good and provide comfort for his raging testosterone.

As I grew older, I realized that I didn't really like asking people for things or money - having my own money to spend was more liberating than having to go through non-existent psychological guilt that came with asking people (regardless of their relationship with me) for money to be spent on non-survival items.

I didn't mind working, as most of the jobs I've taken on were not bad, given the normal day-to-day irritations that comes with work. In fact, I slowly became a person who didn't mind paying for my own meals on dates, or for paying for my own day-to-day expenses, for that matter.

Given that I would, of course, love to be pampered and not have to worry about how much I'm earning versus how much I spend; but I also believe that I could be an independent woman who doesn't need to completely rely on a man for survival.

Just my two cents. Having people tell me that my husband should be one who can take care of my survival is essential is like telling me I'm too weak to at least provide the basics for myself.

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