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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

About 7 men that women dislike

Now, I'm by no means an expert in the dealings between men and women, but I personally feel that I've met my small share of men - gentlemen and douches alike. Those of my same age, as well as those with many years in between each other.


Now we'll be talking about the 7 men that women dislike - most of these apply to actual women (though I admit, not all "women" act like actual mature adults, and that includes myself), while some of them also apply to the younger demographic of ladies.


1. The false-hope guy

There's this guy you're head over heels for, and he flirts endlessly with you. He brings you out for "dates", you meet his friends, he shares his problems with you, and calls you endearing names like "baby" or "honey". He knows you're into him, and you think he has reciprocal feelings for you, but as time goes on and your decision to make you into "something" becomes more solid, his actions tell you another story.

He's going out with other girls, you see his Facebook comments with endearing names for other girls, he ignores you for weeks at a time and pops out of nowhere asking to hang out (and this usually entails the date-like couple activities). You've asked him about his feelings for you, and he either directly tells you or suggests to you that he's also into you, and so you tread on.

Finally one day, he tells you he wants nothing more than just friendship for you. This was either because he thought you were a good listener, or was just someone who was there when he needed someone. Either way, these people break hearts, whether they mean to or not.

To girls, if he's endearing to you today but is cold to you the next day, it's time to start to back off, 'cause there's a really high chance that he's this kind of guy. To guys, you're either into her, or you're not - don't give her hints and suggestions. Don't say "maybe", or "if it's meant to happen, it will happen" - that's just heartbreaking. Keep things in the friendzone if you're not sure of your own feelings.


2. The philanderer

Most people will know this guy more commonly as "the playboy". He flirts around, messes around, and/or sleeps around, regardless if he's pursuing a target, or even if he's taken. To many of these, their logic is that they're still young, or that as long as they're not married, it's their god-given right to go around trying to reproduce with as many women as possible (the primal-man survival excuse).

This guy would probably be easier to spot than the false-hope guy, but it doesn't make it any less hurtful. Humans were oriented to desire what they can't obtain, and in females, we aim for the "bad boys" because they display traits of strength to survive the wild.

Steer clear of these guys, because they won't settle unless they want to. Save yourself the heartbreak.


3. The excuses guy

He has a reason (more accurately speaking: excuse) - usually deeply psychological and emotional - for EVERYTHING he does, be it not replying to your text, or eating his noodles in a particular way. I once met this guy, who told me that he didn't need to care about how other people felt when he behaved in a certain way outside of work, because no one cared how he felt while he was growing up.

Now, in my opinion, if my logic followed that pathway, I'd have no friends now - I could say that no one remembers my birthday, so I don't need to bother with anyone else's; I could say it's logical for me to be a total bitch because my emotional needs weren't fulfilled as a child and as a person. These people are the most frustrating, because nothing you do could change the way they think, that they're entitled to their behavior just because they feel hurt or dejected or emotionally incomplete in some way.

To you guys who are like that: man up and grow a pair.


4. The fling-and-sing guy

Now I didn't grow up extremely religious, so watching porn before marriage isn't a sin to me. I've met my share of guys who wanted only intimacy, and under special circumstances, I joined them individually.

I really don't mind it when people tell other people about what I do, because if I'm daring enough to do that, I'm daring enough to own up to it. But for chrissake, I thought it's the unwritten rule that any detail revealed to any other party has to be agreed upon by the two originally involved parties!

I don't need things kept wrapped in industrial-strength tin foil then overlaid with cement, then laid over with bricks and a titanium wall, but one shouldn't be a broadcasting system and tell the world, especially when it hasn't been agreed upon by the other party that you could have it broadcast.

One such guy told me that I "should be mature enough to know how to just play along". I don't mind playing, and since I don't mind playing, I don't mind dealing with the direct consequences; but there is a clearly drawn line to every fling, and it would be very wise to always play within that line.


5. The "my ego is bigger than my penis" guy

He needs to be macho 24/7. He won't hold your hand, he won't kiss you in public, but he'll do everything else that will somehow enhance his "machoness" - insisting on picking you up, holding your bags (except your feminine Longchamp or what have you), picking up the tab (even if it means taking the cash from your purse/wallet and handing it to the waiter/waitress himself).

These people are frustrating. I'm a student, and my current boyfriend is too, which means we have little or no source of income, so I'm not really keen about the "guys should pick up the tab" culture - we go Dutch, regardless of whether we split the bill on the spot, or pay for meals or dates alternatively. Guys like these would almost never tolerate even a girl taking out their purse, much less taking cash out of it to pay for whatever.

He wouldn't cuddle or buy flowers or anything, because it's degrading to his manhood. Well, personally, I won't demand my boyfriend to walk around holding a giant teddy bear, or a bouquet of flowers, but if he can't tolerate a quick peck on the lips in public, your ego is bigger than your head, and sorry, no can't do.


6. The clingy guy

As with the clingy girls, they're overly dependent and can't stand having their SO away from them for more than 5 minutes. Characteristics? Constant inquiries about where you are, who you're with, what you're doing (doesn't apply to all) - all this irregardless of the time of day. Also, constant text messages and/or calls are dominant, whether or not there is any actual substantial content in the "conversations".

Whether it's dominance, or just that they're so insecure that they need to make sure that you're in love with them at every possible minute, that depends on the individual. However, having a significant other who won't leave you alone whether you're/he's at work, or just taking a dump is just suffocating.

And let's face it, regardless of how independent we women would like to see ourselves (or actually are), a clingy guy/man is just a turn-off. The hugs and kisses and cuddles and random texts, yes - but not 24/7. I believe that no matter how much a couple is in love/infatuated with each other, they need their own space - I need my space for my friends and life, and so does he. Having to feel the need to be in each other's life 24/7 is a pain in the arse.


7. The domineering guy

Over the years and years of evolution, it's been more or less built-in instinct in us already that the males take the lead - they initiate contact, they fight for survival, they control the female and child population because they're the ones earning the daily bread.

While I still agree that some dominance should be present in a guy/man (without which, is equal to a pussy), over-dominance will turn most women off. Why I say "most women" is because some women feel more comfortable with a domineering man by her side.

That said, most other women would hate a guy who feels the need to constantly monitor and control her activities. He might seem similar to the clingy guy, but the clingy guy only clings - he asks, gets jealous like a girl, and is mostly just annoying. The dominant is intent on controlling you and your life as a being - though the seriousness varies, most cases involve text message monitoring, confrontations about the people you hang out with and the things that you do, and direct involvement in your decision-making processes.

He will interrupt what you're doing to inject his own opinion into your decisions, whether you've invited him to or not. While I understand where this trait comes from, everything boils down to self-control - in this generation of gender equality, women prefer it when you respect them enough to give them their own space and time to control their own life. They don't need someone else taking the reins to what's theirs.


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I do realize that this article is pretty much bigoted and one-sided, but hey, it's true to some degree.

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