Search This Blog

Friday, October 11, 2013

Rant 11.10.2013

Everyone around me is stressed out at some point due to whatever - family, social life, university life, whichever that generates a storm around their ship. My stress is usually self-inflicted, because I unconsciously give too many fucks about what people think of my dietary habits, my interests, and how I portray myself.

My biggest stress doesn't come from solitude or lack of praises on my fashion picks, but when the time comes that I have to do certain assignments, and when exams are close.

I don't aim for 100% distinction, which is something I'm supposed to, but I'm pretty much happy that I passed any exam at all. However, I do like to try to do my best (which is also often insufficient, and I realize I'm becoming more and more self-contradicting as I continue) in most things, including assignments and exams.

First, assignments. Depending on the nature of the assignment, I can get it done in 10 minutes, to days on end. Not that I'm not a team player (more of a follower than a leader, really), but there are certain reasons to why I'm not 100% fond of group projects. The negotiations, the changes of plans, the occasional bouts of miscommunication are what fucks up my mind.

Then comes the exams. Actually for both, I procrastinate way too much than I'm supposed to. And another thing is that my attention span is getting shorter, and I'm getting more easily distracted. I'd rather study at the last minute and pull 7 all-nighters in a row than actually plan to study properly with a proper timetable.

The all-nighters, plus that fact that I'm such a masochist that I cut what originally was an 8-hour night of sleep into a mere 3-4 hours. Doing what, you may ask? 9Gagging, aimlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram. This adds to my general frustration.

I can't sit still.