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Sunday, October 7, 2012

The process of letting go

I read a blog post today, which was actually a reply to one of my blog posts previously, written about a week or two ago.

When I first read it at campus, during an assignment meeting, I don't know why but I just started crying. It took a trip to the nearest bathroom and almost shattering my right hand to stop crying. When I got back, I had that urge to type out a long, accusatory comment on the blog post, but then I stopped myself.

I took to Facebook, and noticed that his forever-there name wasn't on my chatbox list, neither was it on my friend list. For the next hour, we exchanged text messages, and surprisingly enough, I found myself getting less and less affected by the minute.

The blog reply was hurtful, but in a way, I was affected and I also somewhat brushed it off. Makes sense? Nope. I dunno how to explain that feeling, but in a way I felt kinda free.

Deep inside, I still miss the good moments we shared. Sometimes it feels like I miss him, but taking a step back and looking at the big picture, all I missed were the moments we shared, not the person. I still don't know why I cried - I just hope it was because it was true that I was an idiot.

Here's the theory that's been at play: if you change your Facebook status, you're serious about it. For example, if you set your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "single", you actually mean it that you want to be single. I find this absurd.

So, if some of my friends don't have Facebook accounts, and they're not on my friends list, does it mean that they're not my friends? Refer back to theory, and add in logic. This theory is completely invalid.

In the end, we were both wrong and right - we both had faults, and we also rightfully pointed them out to each other. What happened in the past, should stay in the past. I will still take my friend's advice, though: keep all the memories - good and bad - so that I will constantly be reminded about how I got where I am today.

I'll consider this relationship a beautiful part of my life, and also an important lesson in life. So here's the message I wanna send to everyone who are reading this, would read this, or has the slightest potential to read this:

Facebook is just a social platform that helps in connecting with people - it should not define any of your relationships. Take note of a change in status, but don't take it to heart and talk it out with your partner before jumping to conclusions.

Pointing fingers and accusing each other doesn't help the relationship in the end. Sure, layout all the puzzle pieces, but in a way that both of you can talk in a positive manner. Blasting at each other back and forth will only lead to more pain and suffering.

In the event that you really don't work out - cry, by all means, but the next day you're gonna have to wipe your tears dry, and move on in life. Keep the memories, never forget anything, but let go of that love, because what's gone is gone.

I got this advice from his mum: if something or someone is to be yours, even if you let go, they will come back to you. So don't stress too much - life is much more than just lovers: you have friends, family, many wonderful strangers to meet, many adventures to explore.

I hereby wish everyone in the world a happy and wonderful life, filled with wonderful people and beautiful moments~

1 comment:


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