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Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Even as a child I envisioned myself as a caring, loving and sensitive, albeit a bit temperamental, girlfriend/wife. All sorts of predictable stuff goes through my head, those scenes from movies and whatnot.

Now with the love of my life, I'd just sit doing nothing and worrying about him (he was taking public transport home late at night and he said he'd text when he arrived, but didn't). My moods depend almost solely on every word, action and decision that comes from him.

I'd be completely disappointed and upset whenever I suggest something really exciting, but he can't be there with me for various reasons. I don't blame him for anything, except maybe perhaps getting banned from driving his dad's car.

I gave him his very first birthday present from me just now. It was sort of a mini cocktail of some random things that he wanted and I thought that he'd like. I got a cosmetics packaging box from my mum and used that as the main present box. Arranged the items inside the best I could, then I filled the empty spaces with lots of paper stars.

Some of the items were pretty lame, but it had some thought and meaning to each its own. For the first time in my life, someone actually was close to tears because of a gift I gave them. I'm not really a person who would take the time to go shopping specially for a gift for whoever, but when I do it has to be special, if not then no gift.

It was interesting to see him rummage through the sea of paper stars, finding one surprise after another. I don't think I needed to plan a surprise party - I think this is sufficient.

We've basically planned our future already - graduate, work, get married, have kids, the works. I used to fantasize having families with imaginary husbands without a face, but with him, I can see him playing with our children after work, plopping in front of the TV after his bath with a sunken patch in the couch meant for me.

True love sounds cliche, but it really exists. It's not all peaches and cream - there will be times when both would disagree, argue, and perhaps even go so far as to wander on the borders of splitting up. Some say that furious arguments are healthier than having a cold war (ignoring each other), but I say to each his own.

Needless to say, some hint of distrust and/or jealousy might occur. May it be girls whom you think have hotter bodies than yours strutting around in barely-there bikinis, or his friends whom he always hangs out with (partially me), it happens.

Basically he and I have passed that obstacle. But sometimes I feel lonely, and want some sweet, warm words from him, but he's too busy socializing with his roommates/classmates/friends. Then I start getting upset, and it only hits me a while later that I'm jealous of his socializing targets' possession of his attention (wow, it rhymes).

One bad habit I have to correct - I tend to try to overlook the tiny little things that happens (the teeny ones that get right under your skin) and keep them to myself, then I let it all build up until I go on a weeping spree.

One word of knowledge - guys are naturally generally less emotionally instinctive than ladies. (What is with the alliteration?) He could be sweet, he could be doting, he could be anything, but there will be times that they won't be able to grasp the 5W1Hs of the issue you're addressing.

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