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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Reflection

Not reflection of light, but reflection of my life, my actions, etc.


Having been born for almost 18 years already, I'd say life has been pretty colorful, at least colorful enough. =P I can't remember anything from my toddler-hood, but the most distinct things I remember from my childhood are the frequent evening swims at Bayshore Park in Singapore (then after the swim we took a bath, then I had a Paddlepop XD) and some painful memories in Assunta Hospital (which still kinda haunts me till today).


My schooling days were a mix of oranges and lemons. I was stuck up and was a total pain-in-the-ass smart-aleck, so I wasn't really popular in kindergarten and the early years of primary school. I was plagued by constant nosebleeds and nightly "accidents". The nosebleeds stopped soon enough, but the "accidents" (which were pretty frequent, by the way) stopped around the time I finished primary school, which was when I was 12.


To make things worse, I started developing the habit of not finishing my homework and slacking off since I was 9. My parents were almost always called to school, and teachers had really bad opinions about me, but when I was 11 things got better, though not as good as during the earlier years of schooling. I started online gaming (GunBound was my first, and that's where I met Edgar XD) and started an interest in music and lyrics.


Graduation from primary school was pretty much a large step for me, considering I was gonna be separated by all the friends (though not many) that I had known throughout the years of primary school. The first day of secondary school was awkward, since the class distribution system sucks, another old classmate and I were transferred to another class.


The years passed, I slept in class a lot, learned to play truant, knew many people, had a few crushes that ended in nothing (but one blossomed beautifully) and a couple of relationships came by. The first was a foolish acceptance of false affection by a person who only wanted to have a girlfriend, the second one was completely awkward and got annoying, the third gave me first-hand insight to the word 'male egoism'. The fourth and current one is probably the last one I hope I'll have, and I do hope it goes for life. <3


Life has shown me the difference between 'friends' and 'companions'. Friends are the ones who would stick to you no matter what situation you're in, and will be happy for you in your achievements and remember you where there's secret loots. XD Companions are those that you are almost always together with, you participate in activities with them, but they don't always remember you and put you down regardless of what you say.


I'm kinda disappointed to say that most of the people I know fall into the 'companion' category. The only few that I've confirmed as friends are the few people I met during my 2-month waitress job at Taiwan DAMI: Tinh, Hoan, Sao, Vinh, DBS and Ramesh (aka Raymond XD). As for my new university group ... they still have a probation period. =)


Family obligations? I shall say that I'm still neutral. I'm neither unquestionably dutiful nor do I shun my duties completely. Sometimes I hate my family, sometimes I'm secretly grateful that I have a complete family at all.


School work again. I pass up my assignments on time, though I think the TV proposal assignment would be more tricky since we're supposed to pass it up TOMORROW, and we don't actually have a complete draft of the story yet.


I'm extremely lacking sleep - minimum of 4 hours a day, but not exceeding 5 hours usually. It sucks. Sometimes this tiresome process gets to me and I flip at almost everything everyone says. Any topic that would usually be a topic that I would joke and laugh about, I'll just start criticizing every visible point that anyone throws at me. Whether I show it or not is another thing. Usually the best solution would be to end the conversation then and there, then go to sleep. And the next morning I'll be apologizing profusely (usually to smexy) for flipping for no effing reason.


Fashion-wise, I'm conscious of the trends and such, but I'm just lazy to and can't afford the many things that I want. Usually I'll contemplate a really long time, then go on the hunt, which usually takes kinda long time. But sometimes I rush and make a mistake-purchase - I don't like the cut, the color, I can't match it with anything, the size is too big/small, etc. However, I am learning to slowly hunt for my items, resorting to online purchases only when there are no other options, which rarely happens.


As for body modification ... I've got all 9 that I wanted, some in unexpected places and conditions. XD I still plan on at least a belly ring if I don't get the lip or brow piercing. Ink? I've got one, a heart tribal (I still don't have the picture yet, so please bear with me) on the small of my back. In another approximate month, I'll see whether it need touchups, and if it does I'll go back to the studio and maybe get another one as well, since my mum already knows that I have ink. XD


Overall, I'm a lucky girl but I still complain about my life, which in turn, will take me down to hell, especially at the rate that I make fun of and insult people, whether verbally or physically.

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