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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Human nature? Or just a freak of nature?

There are those girls who remember every single special day of a relationship off-hand - first date, first present, the day they first met each other's parents.

As for me, I remember our anniversary, the day we first met, when we went to certain trips, etc. And not all of them I can remember off-hand. I'm a person who either can't or won't remember, unless I make it a point to.

This particular stubbornness/defect is a problem. Every morning I wake up, my slate is almost clean - I say I think a lot, but it's obsessive thinking, and it's gone the moment I start thinking of something else.

Isn't there just something about me that's just ... normal? "Unique" is just a pretty name for being abnormal. From my personality all the way down to my life experience - my "rebellion" made things far from what's considered normal here.

I used to say I wouldn't give a fuck, and what you see is what you get, defects and all. In other words, I'm sold as an as-is item - take it, or leave it, but it's never so simple.

I guess being in an actual relationship where you hurt when he does changes your perspective on life and everything in it.

Disappointed... as a whole person who just can't seem to get anything right.

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