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Thursday, October 13, 2011

My recent dominating trait


I know it's stupid, but it's the truth. I'm jealous that most of my friends get what they want from their parent while I have to be subject to everyone's scrutiny should I request gently for something I desire.

I'm jealous that sometimes my boyfriend pays more attention to work, play and friends (which is completely understandable) than to me.

I'm jealous that my sisters are more obviously loved by my mother than she loves me. I do not deny that she does love me unconditionally, sacrificing a lot of time, energy and needless worry over me, but my sisters sometimes get more than I do.

I'm jealous that other people have the privilege of going out every week, some even every day, to malls and clubs and boutiques while I'm usually shut up and home and in the event that I do go shopping, it's usually with my mum to the same old places again and again.

I'm jealous that some other girls who are fleshier than me, chunkier than me, are actually more self-confident than I am. Where proportions are concerned, everyone reassures me that I'm basically perfect, but I beg to differ.

I'm jealous that my friends are trusted to go out at night, while I am under the constant stress of reassuring my mum that my boyfriend didn't summon his gang of boys to gang-rape me in the middle of the night.

I'm jealous that many have more freedom than I do - to drive out, to go out with friends for a little trip, or do anything I want to (with a certain limit, of course).

My life's much luckier than many more in the world, but each person has his own problems and worries. =)

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